Bring each other up, not break each other down


Whitney Jones

In a world that is supposedly trying to achieve gender equality, women don’t seem to have the means to support fellow women.

Oh, how natural it seems when women and girls are so mean to each other. It’s a more deliberate, brutal and dramatic type of being “mean” than what the men show each other.  

Now, that is quite an assumption. There are a lot of good people in this world and there are certainly men who rival the biggest drama queen out there. But that’s not the point. 

The point is, in a world that is supposedly trying to achieve gender equality, women don’t seem to have the means to support fellow women.  

This woman vs. woman notion is not new. For ages, women have been making digs toward other women. Many just laugh it off and claim it’s just part of our DNA. 

We are often known to do horrible things for insignificant and irrelevant feelings like men, friends, attention or a feeling of self worth.  Quite frankly it’s ridiculous. 

It’s not just hearsay however, when one considers the following:

  • According to girlshealth.gov, girls may bully other girls to get attention, feel important or get a sense of control.
  • Chapman University published an article that states “girl-to-girl bullying is a psychological and emotional form of abuse that uses relationships to inflict injury upon another.”
  • According to justsayyes.org, “Female bullies often attack through rumors, exclusion, teasing and insults…the goal is to damage the victim’s reputation and isolate them from others.”

Silent daggers stabbed into a friend’s or stranger’s back about the pettiest of topics. Teenage girls are known especially for this. But what we fail to ask ourselves is why and how it’s gotten this bad? When did we as a gender decide that supporting other women and girls was something we weren’t going to do?  

There isn’t just one person or item to blame for a world that has come to this, but rather many small contributing factors. With the advancing of technology and social media, it makes it increasingly easy to hide behind a screen and make remarks and posts without facing consequences. And being able to see every aspect of another person’s life, someone you might envy, just drives the jealous and catty behavior. 

Along with technology, the seeming need to fit in to societal norms is also a driving force for the tearing down of other women. Despite how far we’ve come in the previous decades, good looks are still a requirement on many checklists to become a successful woman. There is the assumption that if you have a pretty face and body you must not have any problems. And being unproblematic is a trait many women wish they could have. 

For many, having external beauty in the eyes of others is a success in and of itself. Regrettably, this has turned women against each other.  And if a fellow female is “prettier” than you in your own eyes, jealousy starts to prosper. 

Whether you are that woman, even for a second, or not, you might treat her differently. 

Being mean takes no effort. Plain and simple. It takes no thought to make a demeaning remark to another woman. 

But you know what, being kind takes zero effort either. So why is it that we so often choose the low road? 

Instead of tearing others down, why not build them up? 

In an article written by Chapman University, they said “Girl-to-girl bullying is ignored because the social and cultural forces that influence and maintain the phenomenon are often outside our awareness.” 

So, take the time out of your day to genuinely compliment another woman. Congratulate her on a new job or a great test score. Support your best friend in making decisions that might change her life. 

Manifest happiness towards other women. And by doing this, we can grow stronger together, rather than weak apart. 

The bottom line is, the world can be a better place if women unite, put aside our jealousy, support one another and get over ourselves.