Christmas is coming, and in a society where being a “dog mom” is becoming more popular than being an actual mom, it is important to know where your boundaries are with buying Christmas presents for these dog-obsessed millennials.

As you are purchasing Christmas gifts for these pampered pups, and their owners, keep these simple rules in mind:

1. If you feel the need to buy a stroller or baby carrier for your dog, you should probably just have a baby because we all know that’s what you really want and you’re just projecting it on your poor dog that just wants to run free and not be shoved into a pouch on your chest meant for a small child.

2. Please, for the love of all that is good in this world, do not buy accessories for your or your friend’s dog. These animals were created with built-in clothing called FUR and they have it for a reason. They do not need cashmere sweaters and vintage boots to protect them when it starts to snow. THEY ARE FINE.

3. If you are buying toys for a friend’s dog, keep in mind that this dog probably already has hundreds of toys; they do not need a 4-foot-tall inflatable chew toy. They will probably end up neglecting it and chewing on their owner’s shoes or underwear anyway.

4. There is a new product that was recently released called a “dog selfie stick” that holds a dog treat above the phone to force your dog to look at the camera. This would be a perfect gift for those friends who have nothing better to do with their time than take pictures of their dogs all day and show you EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

5. Never buy more dogs for your friends as Christmas presents; don’t be an enabler. They don’t need any more dogs; they need a life.

6. When buying a gift for a dog lover, the very best gift you can ever get for them is a framed picture of their beloved pooch, but please, do not buy them a shirt or a sticker or anything with their dog’s face printed on it. If you ever want your friend to make human friends instead of dog friends, do not get them a shirt with their dogs face on it, especially not with the words “best friends forever” on it. Just don’t.

7. If you feel the need to buy a mug or a pillow or any other household decorations with the words “dog mom” on it. Resist the urge. Once again, you do not want to be an enabler. If more and more people decide they want to be a “’dog mom” instead of an actual mom, the human race very well might go extinct. Is that what you really want?

8. As a dog person and a puppy owner myself, all I want for Christmas is for someone to potty train my puppy. So if you really want to please your dog-loving friends this Christmas, hire and pay someone to potty train their puppy or walk their dog for them so they can have some peace and quiet for once without one of their belongings being chewed up or their carpet being peed on.

9. One problem facing society today is people not picking up after their dogs after they … ya know, go. So if you want to kill two birds with one stone, buy your friend some doggie bags for Christmas so they can clean up after their spoiled mutt. You would be making the world a more beautiful place and you would also be getting a Christmas gift out of the way.

10.) Lastly, don’t try to be funny and get your dog-loving friend anything with a cat on it for Christmas unless you want one less friend to buy Christmas presents for the next year … which I guess wouldn’t be too bad if you really think about it, but still. The one thing you can do to piss off a dog person is get them a shirt or a keychain with a cat on it. No one likes cats, so just don’t do it.

Overall, when you’re buying gifts for your dog crazy friends, just be thoughtful and think of things they might actually NEED, and not useless junk like stickers that say “ I <3 my Corgi”, unless you want your friends to lose any ounce of a social life they once had. If you follow this guide to Christmas dog gifts, you should be safe.