HOLDEN: Hey girl. You and I pair like communism and poverty, how about we take advantage of that like Stalin took advantage of the Russian people and go to prom together?

KENADEE: That’s seriously how you’re going to ask me? Wow. Ok. No.

HOLDEN: Come on, I stayed up till 2 in the morning working on that line, and this is how you repay me?

KENADEE: First off, I’m not “repaying” you anything for that cheap way of asking me? It was a little cliche and…

HOLDEN: Your mom is a little cliche

KENADEE: This is NOT how you convince a girl to go to prom with you. I think it’s time you actually learn how to talk to girls.

HOLDEN: I know I’m just no good when it comes to promposals, can you teach me the ancient ways of the woman?

KENADEE: Soooo… just like last year when I made your promposal for you?

HOLDEN: Allegedly!!!

KENADEE: Well I would imagine that if you asked the witnesses they would side with me, but whatever. If you keep this up, you’re gonna be spending prom night alone in your basement dressed as a Jedi crumpled in a ball on the floor making Wookie noises. All the while your parents will be looking in wondering where they went wrong.

HOLDEN: First off, I wouldn’t dress as a Jedi because I am more of a Lord of the Rings kind of guy.

KENADEE: Ok fine whatever, but you’re still going to be alone on prom night because you obviously don’t know how to ask a girl to prom properly.

HOLDEN: I know… (dramatic pause) that’s why I need your help

KENADEE: Ok, I guess I’ll help. First, you need to recruit her friends. This is very vital because she already knows how she wants to be asked, just look at any girl’s Pinterest page. Her friends will give you ideas.

HOLDEN: That’s great advice.

KENADEE: Ya, I know.

HOLDEN: Well since you’re a lost cause, who would you recommend asking?

KENADEE: Well, you know, your GIRLFRIEND?? I’d say that’s a pretty good start.

HOLDEN:Oh yeah. I am not used to having one yet, but I still don’t know how to ask her.

KENADEE: Well, didn’t you date her best friend first?

HOLDEN: Oh yeah, I forgot about that, it was such a nice week until you reminded me.

KENADEE: Ok, I’m sorry. I admit, I took it a little far, but still, use this to your advantage. Asking her friends not only gives you the advantage, but it helps her out too because if you ask her and actually surprise her, there is a good chance she will not be ready for what is to come, such as pictures. By asking her friends, she will be more excited because then she can “get all dressed up” for the day and have really cute promposal pictures she can post everywhere. And I mean everywhere.

HOLDEN: Well that seems like a lot of work. Is it really the only way to get a date? Can’t I just order one from Europe?

KENADEE: I’m pretty sure that’s illegal… but c’mon man, it’s really not that hard. Well, for you it might be because I essentially asked your last year’s date to prom.

HOLDEN: You feel like doing that one last time, or am I going to the dark web?

KENADEE: Do you even know how to get the dark web? Besides the point, this is our last year of high school so this is our last prom. It has to be special so just take my advice and make simple, cute and creative. Trust me, it works every time.

HOLDEN: Alright, I guess I’ll go get this thing started.

KENADEE: Perfect. Now, if you need any help, don’t ask me because I am NOT doing it all for you again.

HOLDEN: That’s fine, but when you are sitting in your basement on prom night watching Dirty Dancing and sobbing into your bag of Cheeto puffs, just remember what you’re missing out on. To clarify what you are missing out on is a me, your friend.