All things pumpkin spice and everything (not) nice


Hailey Carner

Wyatt Henderson

Time to break out the pumpkin spice and Uggs footwear. Everyone seems to enjoy burning their tongue on coffee that’s not only too hot but will leave the taste of pumpkin flatulence in your mouth, all the while keeping their little tootsies warm with an overpriced pair of mid-calf walkin’ boots.

Hooray for crappy coffee and overused candles.

Wax burners, pie, coffee, scented markers, perfume, smoothies, Cheerios, chips, protein powder, pretzels, dog treats, Twinkies … and the list goes on. Put an end to this madness. Not only does our generation put this combustion of spices on just about everything we consume during this season, we torture our dogs with pumpkin spice dog treats. Don’t punish your dog over nothing.

Try pumpkin spice, it’s the same on everything it’s on so don’t put too much thought into what you’re willing to subject your taste buds to, it’s all garbage. And it’s all over used. Spare us all the headache and don’t post a picture of your pumpkin spice coffee every morning.

 After an informal survey via Instagram, apple cider has the majority of favor over pumpkin spice. How that happened, I don’t know. How people chose either of them is beyond me. However, I do suppose that I would choose apple spit over pumpkin fart as well.

The pumpkin spice phenomenon has come way too far in this world.  How did we let this vegetable become a spice that rules over an entire season? An entire beverage line taken over. I may be overstepping when I say pumpkin spice has taken over an entire generation.

Let’s not kill the mixture of spice completely but let’s diminish the amount of items that contain it … for the sake of my sanity and everyone else who wants to enjoy winter without being labeled a white girl.