THE SUMMER FLOP
Once known as thongs, flip-flops might not be the best choice for your feet
Flip Flops. You know you hate them. Summer days are just around the corner, and opened-toed shoes are making their way back into the closet, but Flip Flops are definitely a flop this warm season. They’ve got to go.
Who wants to pay money for cheap chunks of rubber that are just pretending to be shoes? This summer “thong” is even more dangerous than a doughnut on a diet. (Yeah, that’s right, people used to refer to them as thongs.)
Some may argue that Flip Flops are a “summer classic,” but I say, get with the times. Experts believe that Flip Flops have been worn for at least 6,000 years, dating back to around 4,000 B.C. Don’t you think we could find a more up-to-date alternative?
Not only are they outdated, Flip Flops are a serious safety hazard. If you wear Flip Flops, you’re 100 times more likely to get blisters in between your toes than you are to be complimented on your shoe game.
“They can be useful if you want to throw something in the trash,” PHS freshman Jhett Schwahn said. “Oh, and they give your toes a wedgie.”
We’ve all been there. Maybe a Band-Aid will help? But seriously, why did we choose to wear Flip Flops in the first place?
“Flip Flops are literally just chunks of plastic and rubber we choose to wear on our feet, they get your toes so dirty, and most people who wear Flip Flops probably don’t wear socks,” PHS sophomore Jayde Ilg said. “I mean, nothing’s wrong with toes, but not everybody wants to see them.”
So please, keep those bad boys covered ladies and gents; nobody wants to see your toe hair anyways. If these reasons aren’t enough to convince you, then that smacking noise Flip Flops make when you walk in them is arguably the worst sound known to man.
“The noise is really annoying; it’s really bad,” PHS freshman Adam Flores added. “They also leave you with some horrible tan lines.”
Flip Flops are definitely a flop this warm season. They are going to leave your feet looking like a train wreck. So before you leave the house in Flip Flops, think about your other options unless you want to pay the price. You’ll thank me later.
Alexis • Apr 13, 2021 at 3:14 pm
HAHAHA great story about foot underwear!!!!