The Prowl

Bailey Phillips
Bailey “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better” Phillips is a four-time, award-winning author, but you probably already knew that because she does not shut up about it. Then again, that phrasing implies she shuts up about anything, which is apocryphal. 

“Apocryphal?” asks Adviser Cap. “Didn’t he give drugs to Romeo so he could be with Juliet for eternity?”

“Apothecary,” Bailey snidely responds. “That was the apothecary.”

But back to the word apocryphal … what’s that? You don’t know what apocryphal means? Good, that was the point of using it. Bailey is insufferably pretentious, and if she uses a word that is more than three syllables in length, it’s probably because she wants you to think she’s smarter than you. 

“Bailey is talented,” Prowl news editor Lucyjane Crimm said. “But don’t mention that to her because she already knows.”

“Wait, talented has three syllables,” adds Adviser Cap.

Bailey Phillips, Prowl Reporter

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The student news site of Powell (Wyo.) High School
Bailey Phillips