As we dutifully march into the new year, the evergreen quarantine season hot on our heels, more and more Powell students and staff have fallen victim to what at this point seems an inevitable rite of passage. 

Since no one is safe from the clutches of the ‘Rona, we, out of the kindness of our hearts, have compiled a list of the isolation essentials. It’s like a care package, but with the slight allowance that we didn’t actually purchase or send you any of the items on this list. 

• Patience: One of last year’s biggest challenges was figuring out how to achieve digital learning, and even though most students are back in the brick and mortar building, those stuck in quarantine are still fighting the good fight. Couple that with the fact sometimes your teachers will just forget to let you into the Zoom call, resulting in a full hour spent staring at a spinning circle, and you’ll be pulling your hair out in no time.

• Espresso Machine: This one does, admittedly, seem a little out of the blue, but it’s simply a must. You’re going to need all the caffeine you can possibly consume if you’re going to make it through your online classes. Yes, it’s expensive, but think of it this way: your medical bills, should you get Covid, would probably be more. 

• Pets: I don’t care what you’re allergic to; you’re going to need a pet.In lieu of any companions of the human variety, your dogs will become your peers and your cats your closest confidants. If you really insist on being special, go to Ace Hardware and spring for that chinchilla they always seem to have, but the point is that if you’re lacking a fuzzy cuddle buddy, you’re never going to survive.

• Retorts: If your friends are anything like the rest of the population, you’ll likely be inundated with texts asking where on earth you are if you’re missing from third period government. Responses like “the moon,” “Area 51,” and “In a medically induced coma,” are all perfectly advisable. Or just leave them on read and let their own imaginations work for you.

• Hot Water: After sitting on your couch, marinating in your own filth, for eight hours a day, you’ll be shocked at how steeply your value of an absolutely scalding shower increases. If you thought your showers were long before, get ready.

• Friends: I promise this isn’t a diss. If you’re really going to be separated from the land of the living for two weeks, you need friends to keep you up on the hottest gos. Sure, what passes for ‘hot gos’ at PHS might really only be tepid, but you’d be shocked at how disconcerting it is to not be up on the lukewarm latest. (Of course, you could just keep up with the Prowl’s news stories, but we only cover the hottest of the hot; we aren’t going to tell you about the girl your boyfriend is making eyes at.)

• Go Outside: That’s all there is for this one. Go out on your back porch and breathe something other than your own carbon dioxide.

• Snacks: While it isn’t very good for the body to eat because you’re bored, it’s one of the best treatments for the isolated soul. Of course, you’re not going to feel like using the dining table like some sort of civilized person, so crunchy snacks are probably out, since who wants Mesquite BBQ Lays crumbs in their bedsheets? I recommend tomato soup and cups of microwavable macaroni and cheese for savory options, fruit snacks and popsicles for sweeter alternatives. It’s like chicken soup for the soul, except chicken noodle soup is really only good when you’re actually sick, so maybe stay away from that.

• Hydrate: Do yourself a favor and drink as much water as you can manage. Keep several water bottles nearby. It’ll make you feel better and you won’t get headaches from staring at your Zoom screen nearly as easily. Plus, extra bathroom breaks.

• Willpower: In all honesty, quarantining is hard. It’s a miserable thing to have to sit and watch what should be your life through a screen. It’s difficult to overcome the ingrained sense that because you feel fine, you should be at school. The best, most effective tool to have in your toolbox is the certainty that you’ll get through it and that everything will be just the same as you left it when you get back.