THERMOPOLIS IN A JAR

School hand sanitizer smells anything but good

Prowl+reporter+Shelby+Fagan+is+receiving+the+stinky+hand+sanitizer+from+the+wall+dispenser.

Alexis Terry

Prowl reporter Shelby Fagan is receiving the stinky hand sanitizer from the wall dispenser.

For some, the toughest decision of the day is to use the hand sanitizer or not.

The school’s hand sanitizer is far from Bath and Bodyworks praise. Very far. The nasty smell will lead people to believe you really couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I don’t have my hand sanitizer,” Spanish teacher Mr. Brandon Preator said of his empty wall dispenser. “Maybe if they had fruity scents or a vanilla smell, people will actually use the hand sanitizer.” 

PHS sophomore Gretel Opps claims Mr. Preator discarded the porta potty scent hand sani. Totally understandable; no one should want the reeking smell of an everlasting fart in their room.  

The Prowl informally surveyed a whopping nine people, and four of them said the school’s sanitizer smells like none other than tequila — the adult beverage that has an entire song dedicated to it. 

“[If it had a perfume name] it would be named Cheap Tequila,”  junior Brooklyn Bennett said.  

This makes sense, considering that hand sanitizer is made up of tasteless alcohol and completely different types. But when your hand sanitizer claims to have alcohol it really isn’t tequila, it’s ethanol. They’re expected to contain ethanol and isopropyl. 

[If it had a perfume name] it would be named Cheap Tequila PHS junior Brooklyn Bennett”

— PHS junior Brooklyn Bennett

Isopropyl is not edible. If you drink it you will get sick. Not drunk. Ethanol on the other hand. It is edible but will not get you drunk, it is denatured. But I don’t condone germ-x drinking. Don’t drink it. 

Other poll responses had comments such as: crap, death and if you threw expired Listerine into a moldy fish-filled garbage can and let it soak. 

Not one of those descriptions lied; the stench is disgusting. It’s as if they took the Thermopolis hot spring water and air and sealed it in a jar for a month. Literally hot springs sulphur in a jar. 

In research, the FDA.gov states, “Drinking only a small amount of hand sanitizer is potentially lethal to a young child.” The children could be attracted to the smell or color. This is amazing, I can’t imagine a child wanting to drink hand sanitizer from the “clean” stench. No child enjoys the smell of clean, they’d prefer their peanut butter and hand sandwich.

Whether it’s the horrible stench of the school’s hand sanitizer, or the glorious smell of the bath and bodywork hand sanitizer. It’s important to always cleanse your germ infested hands. Always. 

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