Words hurt. I’m not going to lie. The things people say about you or say to you can affect a person. It may not be a form of bullying, but it more than likely still will make them cry. That doesn’t mean your words make them want to go home and lock themselves in their room and never come out because someone in their lives doesn’t like something about them.

Just because you don’t say it to their face, doesn’t mean they don’t hear about it. We live in a small community with only about 400 high school students. Words spread like wildfire, and when one specific person hears about it, it all goes downhill. At the time, it may seem like an innocent conversation they happened to be the topic of, but to them, it could be the one thing pushing them over.

In this day and age, technology has impacted gossip and bullying. A couple months ago, a new trend started on Snapchat. Students would post a link that would direct people to a website called Sarahah. There, people could leave anonymous comments, good or bad.

At first, friends would leave uplifting comments, things saying, “You are such a gorgeous, funny, kind-hearted person … You’re an amazing person and I love you.” It was a way for people to see what people thought about them, and mostly, it was compliments.

Now that time has passed, people have become braver and more willing to tear down others because they can hide behind a screen. Messages would pop up saying, “Stop acting like you’re better than everyone else because you’re so not.”

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It was when I finally spoke to a friend that I realized not everyone thinks those things about me. They helped me realize who I really am.

This came up on my phone late at night a few months ago and that night, I didn’t sleep. I lay in my bed, lights off, just thinking all night about how that one person came to that idea. Was it the way I tried to always make people happy? Was it the fact that I was taking advanced classes? Or was it because I tried so hard to make friends with everybody? By the end of the night, i decided it was everything I had been doing. I decided that no matter what I did, it made people think bad things about me. So I shut down.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone about how I was because I couldn’t answer truthfully. If I was hanging out with friends, I wouldn’t engage in the conversations like I normally would. Instead, I told no one about it and I tried to ignore it and move on. But when someone voices their opinion about you, and it’s not good, it makes you question things about yourself.

It was when I finally spoke to a friend that I realized not everyone thinks those things about me. They helped me realize who I really am. They helped me come to realize that just because one person doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean you aren’t loved by so many more.

I have seen friendships destroyed because of someone talking behind another’s back. I have been the person people come to when they hear about the rumors spreading about them, and it crushes me to see them like this. It’s scary to think that one simple thing you say about someone can end a friendship that has been going on for years.

Gossip is a giant problem in this world and I’m not going to lie by saying I’ve never done it myself. But I have yet to meet someone who hasn’t. I’m not going to lecture anyone on talking smack behind someone’s back. What I am going to do is ask you to think: What if it were you? What if you were the one someone was talking bad about to all of their friends?

I want you to think about that the next time that you are about to say something mean about a friend or a classmate. The things you say don’t only affect you. They affect a whole group of people as well. From personal experience, I know it is not fun to be on the receiving side of the gossip, so why create sides in the first place?